I'm SO depressed without her...help? 10 pts. best answer.?

Okay, so my "ex" girlfriend dumped me approximately 3 weeks ago, and ever since then we have not seen each other until today. We still text each other each and everyday, but definitely not the same as our relationship was. She will be rude to me here and there, and sometimes not reply to my text messages. The reason why she dumped me is because sometimes here and there I won't show love like how she would want me to put my arm around her I didn't, or if she wanted a hug sometimes I refused, and sometimes I called her names through texting...but the reason why I did all of this is because I have a bipolar disorder, and I am not on medication (yet). So, today, I was nice enough to offer going out to dinner with her for a bit and she said yes...but it wasn't considered a date for her because a date to her is someone she is interested in, and she isn't interested in me anymore. So, I asked her a bunch of questions...and pretty much it ended up as in "I do not want a relationship with you anymore, I have no interest in you anymore, and I don't even think we'll ever get back together." She has given me a second chance, but I failed and my bipolar took over me again. I screwed up SO bad. I regret EVERYTHING I have done to her. I apologed so much and she has finally accepted my apology, but she still only wants to be friends. How do I get over this break-up? I just can't see myself getting over her...we dated for 4 months, but I really thought she was the "one". I pictured us two married with two kids, being all happy and what-not. Can you believe that? I did. I really thought she was the one. She was my first girlfriend, and I wanted her forever. I do not see myself getting another girlfriend; I am such a failure. I am so ugly. I am such a piece of crap. :[ everyday since that break-up I've felt SO depressed...going on the boardwalk seeing happy couples holding hands...:[...I wish I was like that...I'll never find a new girlfriend...(I am 17 and she is 15).